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We moved into a new house in Lawrenceville, GA in 1995. We were only there for six months before Robin and I were separated in a series of events that ultimately led us to Texas. One of the things that healed our relationship – both metaphorically and literally, were some vines she hand-painted on the master bathroom wall.
Why?
It’s the itch.
It’s that part of her that can never leave “well enough” alone. That can never accept what’s cheapest or easiest as her final answer.
So we moved into this house with new carpet, newly-painted walls, new everything. The bathroom and every other room in the house had been painted a lovely shade of off-white. But NOOOOO. That wasn’t good enough. We had to go buy some paint of our own, and SHE had to paint these stupid vines on the bathroom wall. (Hang on, I’m getting to the good part.) And I had to look at those stupid things every single day, all the while resenting them and everything they stood for.
Then came the day I returned alone to that nearly-empty house. And every day I looked at those stupid vines. And I missed – oh, how I missed – the vinedresser. And I realized that the thing I had so resented about my wife was the thing that also kept me coming back (isn’t that always the case?).
It’s the itch.
The itch says, “Our marriage is good. Let’s make it better.”
“Our home is nice. Let’s start redecorating it all over.”
“Our walk with the Lord is good. Let’s make it great.”
Granted, that sometimes frustrates my sorry, lazy side that wants to vegetate and coast. But I’m married to somebody who motivates me to get off my lazy “side” and press in to what I and we can become. Yes, that flies in the face of my complacency. But it also keeps me coming back.
It’s the itch that drove her to go back to school at a time when the rest of us were doing the same (we had five people in college or grad school at one time. Take that, FAFSA!). It’s the itch that drove her to complete a Master’s degree with a 4.0 average. It’s the itch that is driving her to explore uncharted territory for her – a counseling practice to underserved children.
It’s the itch that refuses to compromise on her passion to have a great marriage. Be part of a great church. And constantly try new things.
God healed our marriage beautifully in early 1996, and I came home. One of the promises I made to myself then was that I would never again complain about anything my wife did to turn a house into a home or a household into a family. I’m a better man – better father, pastor, and even now grandfather - because of her.
And the itch.
And yes, those stupid vines.
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